21 weeks pregnant

I can't even believe I am 21 weeks pregnant with this little guy. I think he is a really calm baby. I started to feel him move at like 16 weeks but I didn't feel the real big kicks until I hit 19 weeks. I feel him every day now at least a few times if not more. My 20th week was by far the most painful yet, I have been getting the worst round ligament pain and it really isn't fun! I don't know how I am going to be walking by the end of this pregnanci lol but I wouldn't change any of it for the world. I am so thankful to have this little baby growing in me and I can't wait to meet him. I still always want tacos and I am having a hard time watching my body change and I have never weighed this much in my life and I'm only half way done. I have had a really easy pregnancy so far minus the growing pain. I really can't wait to be a mommy! only 19 more weeks to go.

Christmas Trip to Utah and New Years

We took our yearly Chistmas trip to utah and man was it an intersesting trip. It was so nice to see our family and friends but man it wasn't our best trip yet. My sweet mom decied to give us a baby shower which was amazing and so much fun! We got some fun stuff for our little man and it was nice to spend time with people lol now days I don't get out of the house much. Now for the not so fun part, so someone at my shower gave almost everyone there the stomach flu lol and man did I get it really really bad I thought I had food poisoning at first because I started vomiting at 5am on Wednesday morning and continued to vomit every 15 to 30 min until 11am it was awful! I have never in my life been so sick! Chaz was fine, he got up and went snow boarding but when he got home that after noon it hit him and he was running to the bathroom lol I felt like death but I was laughing so hard. All you could do was lay there and try not to die I felt so bad for my little baby because he didn't get anything but gaterade and water that day. Come to find out everyone in our family and at my shower had the stomach flu all I can do is laugh because it was so awful! I keep reading about more and more people of facebook that had it and I just laugh. On another note we got to spend some much needed time with the family and we got to eat some amazing food that I would really like more of right now. :) It was a fun time minuse a few problems here and there all in all it is really good to be home and back to our routine.

IT'S A BOY & A BIG SCARE AT ANATOMY SCAN.

Gosh do I have some updates for you guys so lets get started! It has been a crazy couple of weeks for me and this little baby. At 16 weeks I was feeling like I was leaking a lot and it was happening over the thanksgiving weekend so I couldn't go into my doctors office. I haven't ever been pregnant before so I have no idea what is normal and whats not and this was scaring the crap out of me because I felt like I was peeing my pants but it wasn't pee so I call the after hours number for my doctors and they told me to go into the emergency room because it could be amniotic fluid, I was like oh my gosh freaking out so I get my stuff and jump in the car. I spent 4 hours at the emergency room they ran some test, gave me an ultrasound and told me that everything looked good with my amniotic fluid. They said they didn't know what it was that I was leaking but the baby looked fine so I was happy, They just told me to follow up with my doctor and sent me home but that is the day we found out that we were having a baby boy. We went in on my birthday December 8Th for our anatomy scan. I was 17 week 4 days and so excited to see our little baby on my birthday. We go in for our ultrasound and first of all he was in a ball at the top left hand side of my uterus and wouldn't move lol. The ultrasound tech starts the anatomy scan she is measuring his head and what not but because of the position he was in she was having a hard time getting his legs and told us that we would have to come back. We were then sent out to the waiting room to wait for the doctor, we had been wait like an hour before they called us back again and that scared me. The doctor comes in and starts saying everything looks good except we see that the babies bowel is the same color as the bone and that is a soft marked so we are going to seen you to a specialist to have another ultrasound. She's all you can google it if you want but it will probably scare you. She said it could be a soft marker for down syndrome or cystic fibrosis but that is all the information we were given. I went home and googled it and freaked out even more then I already was it was bad, I was a crying mess. We had to wait 4 days to see the specialist and I have never been so scared to see a doctor in all my life! We get to the specialist and go into the ultrasound, NO ECHOGENIC BOWEL!!! they didn't see anything wrong with him nothing not one soft marker the other doctors office was wrong. I have never been more happy in my life! I am no planning on changing doctors because they are stupid and the ultrasound tech didn't even do the anatomy scan right or all his measurements. Long story short our baby boy is perfect!

I'M PREGNANT!!!!!!

I am so excited to anounce that Chaz and I are going to have a baby!! I am 14 week and 4 days pregnant and the baby is doing great! We get to find out the sex of the baby on December 12, so just over 3 weeks away! I can't wait! I think it is a girl but who knows.

I found out we were expecting when we were just 4 weeks along. I really didn't think the trigger shot worked I just went about my days as usual and then one day I just decided to take an ovulation test to just take it lol and they were coming out positive, I was like what the heck because I should have been getting AF in a week so they shouldn't have been positive. I waited until Chaz got home form work that night to run to Walmart and get a pregnancy test because I stopped keeping them in the house lol. Well I took the test that night and it came out positive right away, I was in shock to say the least!

I have had no morning sickness what so ever and I wouldn't have a cue I was pregnant right now if I wasn't paying attention lol that is how normal I feel. The doctors have watched the baby really well and he or she is growing perfectly! I can't wait to meet this baby!

14 Weeks & 4 Days Pregnant!!

Cycle day 9 ultrasound

I am on cycle day 9 and I went in for my ultrasound today and it went really good! I have 3 eggs 2 on my left ovary and 1 on my right. The 2 on the left were 14mm, 12mm and my right is 18mm so the 14 and the 18mm should be the ones I ovulate. I am feeling so many emotions right now, I am trying so hard to keep myself busy. I am going to pick up my trigger shot tomorrow and my dear sweet husband Chaz is going to give me the shot in my back :( I think it is going to be harder on him then it will be for me lol. Oh we also had Chaz sperm checked and the doctor told me that he has good little swimmers so that is one less thing to worry about! :) Hope this is our month! Doctor said we have a chance for twins, I am so excited.

GOOD NEWS!!

The doctor wanted to make sure he wasn't dealing with both Chaz and I having fertility issues so he had Chas give a sperm analysis. Well we got the results back to day and he as a normal count, I can't tell you how happy that makes me because I know now with out a doubt that Chaz and I will have a baby very soon! We know that we are only dealing with my fertility issues. I have another ultrasound on Monday and we will get more info about Chaz results so I will update again then! I am so happy thought, we really needed so good news!

2 week wait.

I HATE the 2 week wait lol. I over think every little thing that I feel during the 2 week wait. I just feel like this isn't our month. I don't want to be a downer or negative I just feel like I know my body really well and I don't think this is our month. I flipped to an ad today with a middle-aged couple living in a city and thought, "maybe being childfree would be okay." I don't feel this yet, but i am wondering if facing this reality would be a step forward. I don't want to give up, but how far does this infertility pursuit go? We will see how the next few months unfold! Praying we get our BFP soon!

visit to the doctors.

This isn't my ultrasound, but this picture almost looks like my ovary's.

I went to the doctors on Monday to get an ultrasound done so we could see if I the new medication I was on this cycle was working. This ultrasound was uncomfortable but we did see 1 egg in my right ovary that was considered a mature follicle it was 18'16mm. This was cycle day 10 and I guess follicle will continue to grow 1-2mm a day until you ovulate. By the time I ovulate my follicle should be a nice size. Now for the news. I have PCOS and I new that because of blood work but I had never seen what my ovaries look like because of my PCOS, well let me just say that I would have been happier if I never got to see what they looked like. My ovaries look like Swiss cheese. my left ovary is filled with cyst, it looked like I have 15-20 on that one ovary alone but my right one didn't look as bad and that was the ovary that was producing my wonderful follicle. I am on cycle day 18 and still no positive ovulation test, I'm hoping it comes soon! If we don't get pregnant this cycle for whatever reason I am moving onto HCG injections. We are praying we get or BFP soon!

New fertility doctor

I finaly got into see a doctor this week in Oklahoma, so we can try and figure things out with my body. I have to say that I really enjoyed this doctor!! He switched all my fertility medication and I have an ultrasound sceduled to see if my eggs are growing. Then we talked about doing the HCG trigger shot to release my egg. I am really nurviouse and excited about this cycle however, I do not want to get my hopes up. I have really made a big effort to stay off DANG GOOGLE and YOUTUBE lol. I spend all my free time googling and youtubing everything I can about fertility and success stories. I feel like there is a light at the end of the tunnel though. I had my very first 28 day cycle this month and I am so excited that I'm not going to have to take provera or any other medication to induce AF. I have a good feeling about this cycle! Let just hope Chaz doesn't have to go out of town!!

6 Amazing years and many more to come.

Even though Chaz and I have been together for 6 years this past Monday, I still remember our first date like it was yesterday . It was on Monday June 27, 2005 and the first day of the rest of my life with the most amazing man I have ever known! We went to the movies and watched Bewitched, I remember being so nervous and excited.I love my husband and our dogs more and more every day. He works so hard to give us a good life.I can't wait to experience the rest of my life with him. I Love You Honey Bunny!! Happy 6 years!!

Trip to Turner Falls

So, this past weekend Chaz, me, Crystal, Haven and River went to a waterfall lake called Turner Falls. It was so much fun! It was like an hour drive but man was it worth it. Chaz's job is so stressful and we haven't really done much this summer so this was a real treat for us. They have slides there, yummy food and waterfalls. We will defiantly be making another trip there before we leave Oklahoma! It was so relaxing and just what the doctor ordered to take my mind off of all life's worries.

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

I just want to say so sorry for the downer posts! I have been negative, negative lately so i'm sorry. I never in my wildest dreams would have thought that trying to get pregnant would take this long or would be this hard on me emotionally! At times I feel so sad and mad because I want to be pregnant so bad. I have to say that it is a daly strugle for me to not think about it or not worry about wether or not something else is wrong and it's just not healthy. Everyone says tells me not to stress and it will happen. So I am going to the doctors on the 27th of June and I hope he will give me so kind of hope in this. We are going to do one more round of clomid and if we don't get pregnant then I have decided we are going to take some time off of the medications. I hate that this is the one thing in my life that I can't control or fix and maybe taking some time off will make a difference who knows. I had my patriarchal blessing done a few months ago and it talks about mine and Chaz's children so I read that once a week and it honestly is the only thing that gives me hope right now! I need to focus on all the amazing things that I have in my life right now and I need to get to the point where I except the chance that we might never be blessed with a baby, God might have some other purpose for Chaz and I. Everything happens for a reason and there is a reason this is happening, I would just love to know what it is. I am really working hard to change my attitude and to not give this thing anymore energy then I already have. I am going to keep my mind occupied so I won't think about all this ttc stuff!! Everything will work out the way it is supposed to in the end. I am so thankful that I have my faith during this time because I would be lost right now without my heavily father! God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

I also want to say that I love my husband and dogs so much! I am so happy, we have the most amazing life and marriage! Whatever the future hold for us, good or bad I am so happy that I get to experiance and share it with him.There is no one else i'd rather grow old with or experience life with then him.

More pictures

The dreadful 2 week wait and my big sis too short visit.

My amazing big sis came to visit us in Oklahoma this past weekend. I was so excited because in all the 5 years that we have been doing this job no one in our family's have visited us. It's also exciting because we have Chaz's amazing big sis and 2 wonderful kid living with us this summer, so we got double the family visits this summer. My sis and I had the most amazing time. We ate, watched movies, got a pedicure and a message, went on some adventures into parts of Oklahoma that I have never been in and will be happy to never be in again lol. My sis is so amazing and I miss her so much!

We are officially in the 2 week wait. I am about one to two days past ovulation and YES I did ovulate this cycle on clomid :). O came right when it was supposed to and I couldn't be happier! I am just hoping beyond hope that we are pregnant this cycle because to be honest I am getting so frustrated and it really is driving my crazy! Anyone that has been trying to conceive for a long time knows what I am talking about. They know what it's like to want something so much and not have any control over it. God please send us our baby this month!! Of course I have no symptoms to report yet because I am only 1 or 2 days pat O but I will definitely post what happens over the next 2 weeks!! Cross your fingers for us everyone!!

Trying To Conceive Journey

So I was thinking I would post our ttc journey so far. I have PCOS and it is the most frustrating, stupid thing in the world!!! Chaz and I have been ttc for a year now and I am currently taking my 3 round of clomid. The 1st cycle on clomid I did ovulate but it was so late in my cycle that it didn't work. The 2nd cycle on clomid was in May, I waited and waited then I thought I was getting ready to ovulate, my opk was getting darker but unfortunately no ovulation and period was like 2 days just spotting in May so I of course start to think oh my gosh implantation bleeding ha ya right took a pg test and it was negative. I wouldn't even call what I had a period for me at least mine are never ever that short or light. I couldn't start round 3 of clomid until AF starts so I call in my provera to induce my period and I am now currently on CD3 @ 100mg of clomid so far no symptoms yet but we will see. I am really really trying to be positive this cycle. I am going to go to the doctors on June 27th to see what is up if I am not pregnant this cycle.

Can I just say that I want to be a mommy more then anything in this world!! I am really trying to keep myself stress free and not to obsessed with this frustrating thing! I have my good days and bad days! I know so many women who are pregnant right now and I just want to be experiencing the pg journey with them!! I know our time will come (I HOPE) I am just super impartation well it has been a year. I will keep posting about our journey but I am hopping I will be posting a I'm pregnant soon!!

The Love Dare and Marriage.

Ok so I don't know what it is about 2010 but for me it feels like it is the D year D for divorce :( It feels like so many of my friend are having so many marriage problems or are getting divorced, it really makes me want to cry! No marriage is perfect heaven knows that mine and Chaz's isn't perfect but we love each other and we know it takes work and really love is all that matters! All the other stuff we just let get in the way and to be honest it is just selfishness on my part because marriage is for good time and in BAD!! I had the opportunity to talk with family friends about marriage and they had some really awesome advice for me so I am going to share it with all of you!! First off every married couple and anyone in a relationship gets to get a copy of a book called THE LOVE DARE.This book is awesome it is just a huge reminder of what I seem to have forgotten about marriage and what love for my husband really is! It is a 40 day thing were I get to do a different thing for Chaz every day. It's nothing crazy, for example day one was patience.I got to read a little something about patience in the book and then it gives you a stretch to accomplish. I got to have patience with him no matter what he did or said to me that day. It was a challenge at times but well worth it! This book is really awesome so please please read it!! I got if for free online I just googled the book and downloaded it! Anyways back to what else our family friends Sheri and Richard had to say. They really are an amazing couple!! So to make a long story short they said that marriage takes work and unconditional love and support for each other NO MATTER WHAT! And a lot of married couples I think forget about that. They seem to only be ready for the good times because once the "BAD" times happen they split or hate there spouse! So to all married couples out there read this book it will change your life!! Remember that unconditional love and unselfishness acts can change a marriage from worse to amazing in the blink of an eye it just takes one spouse to put forth the effort! And STOP thinking why do I always have to do it, your not a child and why the crap not! If you love your spouse then do it and in turn you will see the results that you want and they in turn will put forth the effort! ILOVE YOU HONEY BUNNY!!

Wedding, Honeymoon and Summer

Hey all so it has been FOREVER and a day since I have updated our lives on our blog!! I would love to say we have been up to LOTS but in fact we have had a pretty boring 10 months. We got married on November 8th, it was the most AMAZING, WONDERFUL day! I LOVE YOU HUBBY OF MINE! We went to Cancun on our honeymoon (pictures coming) we had so much fun laying on the beach, ordering room service. We went to chizaneza and saw the mian runes wow really amazing! Then we went snorkeling well chaz did at least lol I got in the water freaked out and got back on the boat (I'm a wimp). Then we did a whole lot of nothing for a few months. In April Chaz started work again for the summer, first stop El Paso Tx, it is way hot there and we didn't get the chance to do much but we did ride this tram thing up a mountain and back down lol (picture coming) and that was it for El Paso. Then we packed up and drove 15 hours to Oklahoma City, Ok. Wow is it humid here! It really really drives me NUTS! I walk out side and I feel like I have just been sprayed in the face with a squirt gun! I miss UTAH there's not place like home! So this summer we have been watching lots and lots of netflix and movies! Chaz has been doing some fishing though he really loves it! I love it to but I can't stand the humidity so I avoid leaving the house. We are going to try and do a lot more while we are still here and it is summer time so more pictures and post will be coming!

Life Right Now 1 Month to Go!

I thought I should update this thing, it's been a while! So my life is crazy right now! Chaz is back in North Dakota and he won't be home until October 26, I have been home since September 13th, 3 weeks down and 3 more to go. I miss him so much this has been the longest we have spent away from each other in 4 years! Also who knew planning a wedding was so hard lol :) I have everything almost done for the wedding, all that's left is finalizing everything with heritage gardens, I am so happy and luck! Even though my life is crazy, I thank heavenly father for all of the blessing that he has bestowed upon me.
Things I am thankful for.

1. I get to marry my soul mate and the man of my dreams! He works so hard to make good life for us I am so thankful that he was sent to me! I am so lucky we found each other! I love you honey more then anything in this world! Thank you Heavenly Father!

2. My two crazy wonderful dogs they keep everything bright and happy even when I am having a not so good day! They do the funniest things that just make me so happy, Oh and Chaz is so mad that I took them lol he says next time they stay with him hahaha in his dreams lol! I don't know what I would do without them. Thank you Heavenly Father!

3. My soon to be family. Chaz's family they are so wonderful, loving and caring they are the family that I never had and now I get to have them! They have shown me more unconditional love in the past 4 year then I have gotten in my entire life! Thank you Heavenly Father!

4. Our wonderful friends here and away, thank you all for being so wonderful, thank you all for loving Chaz and I unconditional you will never know how much we appreciate it and love you! Thank you Heavenly Father for sending them to us.

5. Our security, I am so thankful that we have the opportunity to live our lives the way we do because Chaz works so hard we can live happily and secure.Thank you Heavenly Father

6. My life, I take to many things in my life for granted and I am learning to be more thankful for all my many blessings that heavenly father had bestowed upon me I honestly don't do it enough instead I find my self feeling sorry for my self, it's not right their are so many other people out there that have worse days then I do and are in worse situations then I will ever be in and I just needed to be reminded just how lucky I am so thank you Heavenly Father.

Engagement Pictures!

So all weekend I was soooo excited because I knew our engagement pictures were going to be here on Monday. I waited all day for the mail man to come! So here are some of the beautiful pictures.