Trip to Turner Falls

So, this past weekend Chaz, me, Crystal, Haven and River went to a waterfall lake called Turner Falls. It was so much fun! It was like an hour drive but man was it worth it. Chaz's job is so stressful and we haven't really done much this summer so this was a real treat for us. They have slides there, yummy food and waterfalls. We will defiantly be making another trip there before we leave Oklahoma! It was so relaxing and just what the doctor ordered to take my mind off of all life's worries.

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

I just want to say so sorry for the downer posts! I have been negative, negative lately so i'm sorry. I never in my wildest dreams would have thought that trying to get pregnant would take this long or would be this hard on me emotionally! At times I feel so sad and mad because I want to be pregnant so bad. I have to say that it is a daly strugle for me to not think about it or not worry about wether or not something else is wrong and it's just not healthy. Everyone says tells me not to stress and it will happen. So I am going to the doctors on the 27th of June and I hope he will give me so kind of hope in this. We are going to do one more round of clomid and if we don't get pregnant then I have decided we are going to take some time off of the medications. I hate that this is the one thing in my life that I can't control or fix and maybe taking some time off will make a difference who knows. I had my patriarchal blessing done a few months ago and it talks about mine and Chaz's children so I read that once a week and it honestly is the only thing that gives me hope right now! I need to focus on all the amazing things that I have in my life right now and I need to get to the point where I except the chance that we might never be blessed with a baby, God might have some other purpose for Chaz and I. Everything happens for a reason and there is a reason this is happening, I would just love to know what it is. I am really working hard to change my attitude and to not give this thing anymore energy then I already have. I am going to keep my mind occupied so I won't think about all this ttc stuff!! Everything will work out the way it is supposed to in the end. I am so thankful that I have my faith during this time because I would be lost right now without my heavily father! God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

I also want to say that I love my husband and dogs so much! I am so happy, we have the most amazing life and marriage! Whatever the future hold for us, good or bad I am so happy that I get to experiance and share it with him.There is no one else i'd rather grow old with or experience life with then him.

More pictures

The dreadful 2 week wait and my big sis too short visit.

My amazing big sis came to visit us in Oklahoma this past weekend. I was so excited because in all the 5 years that we have been doing this job no one in our family's have visited us. It's also exciting because we have Chaz's amazing big sis and 2 wonderful kid living with us this summer, so we got double the family visits this summer. My sis and I had the most amazing time. We ate, watched movies, got a pedicure and a message, went on some adventures into parts of Oklahoma that I have never been in and will be happy to never be in again lol. My sis is so amazing and I miss her so much!

We are officially in the 2 week wait. I am about one to two days past ovulation and YES I did ovulate this cycle on clomid :). O came right when it was supposed to and I couldn't be happier! I am just hoping beyond hope that we are pregnant this cycle because to be honest I am getting so frustrated and it really is driving my crazy! Anyone that has been trying to conceive for a long time knows what I am talking about. They know what it's like to want something so much and not have any control over it. God please send us our baby this month!! Of course I have no symptoms to report yet because I am only 1 or 2 days pat O but I will definitely post what happens over the next 2 weeks!! Cross your fingers for us everyone!!

Trying To Conceive Journey

So I was thinking I would post our ttc journey so far. I have PCOS and it is the most frustrating, stupid thing in the world!!! Chaz and I have been ttc for a year now and I am currently taking my 3 round of clomid. The 1st cycle on clomid I did ovulate but it was so late in my cycle that it didn't work. The 2nd cycle on clomid was in May, I waited and waited then I thought I was getting ready to ovulate, my opk was getting darker but unfortunately no ovulation and period was like 2 days just spotting in May so I of course start to think oh my gosh implantation bleeding ha ya right took a pg test and it was negative. I wouldn't even call what I had a period for me at least mine are never ever that short or light. I couldn't start round 3 of clomid until AF starts so I call in my provera to induce my period and I am now currently on CD3 @ 100mg of clomid so far no symptoms yet but we will see. I am really really trying to be positive this cycle. I am going to go to the doctors on June 27th to see what is up if I am not pregnant this cycle.

Can I just say that I want to be a mommy more then anything in this world!! I am really trying to keep myself stress free and not to obsessed with this frustrating thing! I have my good days and bad days! I know so many women who are pregnant right now and I just want to be experiencing the pg journey with them!! I know our time will come (I HOPE) I am just super impartation well it has been a year. I will keep posting about our journey but I am hopping I will be posting a I'm pregnant soon!!

The Love Dare and Marriage.

Ok so I don't know what it is about 2010 but for me it feels like it is the D year D for divorce :( It feels like so many of my friend are having so many marriage problems or are getting divorced, it really makes me want to cry! No marriage is perfect heaven knows that mine and Chaz's isn't perfect but we love each other and we know it takes work and really love is all that matters! All the other stuff we just let get in the way and to be honest it is just selfishness on my part because marriage is for good time and in BAD!! I had the opportunity to talk with family friends about marriage and they had some really awesome advice for me so I am going to share it with all of you!! First off every married couple and anyone in a relationship gets to get a copy of a book called THE LOVE DARE.This book is awesome it is just a huge reminder of what I seem to have forgotten about marriage and what love for my husband really is! It is a 40 day thing were I get to do a different thing for Chaz every day. It's nothing crazy, for example day one was patience.I got to read a little something about patience in the book and then it gives you a stretch to accomplish. I got to have patience with him no matter what he did or said to me that day. It was a challenge at times but well worth it! This book is really awesome so please please read it!! I got if for free online I just googled the book and downloaded it! Anyways back to what else our family friends Sheri and Richard had to say. They really are an amazing couple!! So to make a long story short they said that marriage takes work and unconditional love and support for each other NO MATTER WHAT! And a lot of married couples I think forget about that. They seem to only be ready for the good times because once the "BAD" times happen they split or hate there spouse! So to all married couples out there read this book it will change your life!! Remember that unconditional love and unselfishness acts can change a marriage from worse to amazing in the blink of an eye it just takes one spouse to put forth the effort! And STOP thinking why do I always have to do it, your not a child and why the crap not! If you love your spouse then do it and in turn you will see the results that you want and they in turn will put forth the effort! ILOVE YOU HONEY BUNNY!!

Wedding, Honeymoon and Summer

Hey all so it has been FOREVER and a day since I have updated our lives on our blog!! I would love to say we have been up to LOTS but in fact we have had a pretty boring 10 months. We got married on November 8th, it was the most AMAZING, WONDERFUL day! I LOVE YOU HUBBY OF MINE! We went to Cancun on our honeymoon (pictures coming) we had so much fun laying on the beach, ordering room service. We went to chizaneza and saw the mian runes wow really amazing! Then we went snorkeling well chaz did at least lol I got in the water freaked out and got back on the boat (I'm a wimp). Then we did a whole lot of nothing for a few months. In April Chaz started work again for the summer, first stop El Paso Tx, it is way hot there and we didn't get the chance to do much but we did ride this tram thing up a mountain and back down lol (picture coming) and that was it for El Paso. Then we packed up and drove 15 hours to Oklahoma City, Ok. Wow is it humid here! It really really drives me NUTS! I walk out side and I feel like I have just been sprayed in the face with a squirt gun! I miss UTAH there's not place like home! So this summer we have been watching lots and lots of netflix and movies! Chaz has been doing some fishing though he really loves it! I love it to but I can't stand the humidity so I avoid leaving the house. We are going to try and do a lot more while we are still here and it is summer time so more pictures and post will be coming!