Wednesday, June 29, 2011

New fertility doctor

I finaly got into see a doctor this week in Oklahoma, so we can try and figure things out with my body. I have to say that I really enjoyed this doctor!! He switched all my fertility medication and I have an ultrasound sceduled to see if my eggs are growing. Then we talked about doing the HCG trigger shot to release my egg. I am really nurviouse and excited about this cycle however, I do not want to get my hopes up. I have really made a big effort to stay off DANG GOOGLE and YOUTUBE lol. I spend all my free time googling and youtubing everything I can about fertility and success stories. I feel like there is a light at the end of the tunnel though. I had my very first 28 day cycle this month and I am so excited that I'm not going to have to take provera or any other medication to induce AF. I have a good feeling about this cycle! Let just hope Chaz doesn't have to go out of town!!

6 Amazing years and many more to come.




Even though Chaz and I have been together for 6 years this past Monday, I still remember our first date like it was yesterday . It was on Monday June 27, 2005 and the first day of the rest of my life with the most amazing man I have ever known! We went to the movies and watched Bewitched, I remember being so nervous and excited.I love my husband and our dogs more and more every day. He works so hard to give us a good life.I can't wait to experience the rest of my life with him. I Love You Honey Bunny!! Happy 6 years!!

Trip to Turner Falls



















So, this past weekend Chaz, me, Crystal, Haven and River went to a waterfall lake called Turner Falls. It was so much fun! It was like an hour drive but man was it worth it. Chaz's job is so stressful and we haven't really done much this summer so this was a real treat for us. They have slides there, yummy food and waterfalls. We will defiantly be making another trip there before we leave Oklahoma! It was so relaxing and just what the doctor ordered to take my mind off of all life's worries.

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

I just want to say so sorry for the downer posts! I have been negative, negative lately so i'm sorry. I never in my wildest dreams would have thought that trying to get pregnant would take this long or would be this hard on me emotionally! At times I feel so sad and mad because I want to be pregnant so bad. I have to say that it is a daly strugle for me to not think about it or not worry about wether or not something else is wrong and it's just not healthy. Everyone says tells me not to stress and it will happen. So I am going to the doctors on the 27th of June and I hope he will give me so kind of hope in this. We are going to do one more round of clomid and if we don't get pregnant then I have decided we are going to take some time off of the medications. I hate that this is the one thing in my life that I can't control or fix and maybe taking some time off will make a difference who knows. I had my patriarchal blessing done a few months ago and it talks about mine and Chaz's children so I read that once a week and it honestly is the only thing that gives me hope right now! I need to focus on all the amazing things that I have in my life right now and I need to get to the point where I except the chance that we might never be blessed with a baby, God might have some other purpose for Chaz and I. Everything happens for a reason and there is a reason this is happening, I would just love to know what it is. I am really working hard to change my attitude and to not give this thing anymore energy then I already have. I am going to keep my mind occupied so I won't think about all this ttc stuff!! Everything will work out the way it is supposed to in the end. I am so thankful that I have my faith during this time because I would be lost right now without my heavily father! God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

I also want to say that I love my husband and dogs so much! I am so happy, we have the most amazing life and marriage! Whatever the future hold for us, good or bad I am so happy that I get to experiance and share it with him.There is no one else i'd rather grow old with or experience life with then him.

Friday, June 17, 2011

More pictures



The dreadful 2 week wait and my big sis too short visit.






My amazing big sis came to visit us in Oklahoma this past weekend. I was so excited because in all the 5 years that we have been doing this job no one in our family's have visited us. It's also exciting because we have Chaz's amazing big sis and 2 wonderful kid living with us this summer, so we got double the family visits this summer. My sis and I had the most amazing time. We ate, watched movies, got a pedicure and a message, went on some adventures into parts of Oklahoma that I have never been in and will be happy to never be in again lol. My sis is so amazing and I miss her so much!

We are officially in the 2 week wait. I am about one to two days past ovulation and YES I did ovulate this cycle on clomid :). O came right when it was supposed to and I couldn't be happier! I am just hoping beyond hope that we are pregnant this cycle because to be honest I am getting so frustrated and it really is driving my crazy! Anyone that has been trying to conceive for a long time knows what I am talking about. They know what it's like to want something so much and not have any control over it. God please send us our baby this month!! Of course I have no symptoms to report yet because I am only 1 or 2 days pat O but I will definitely post what happens over the next 2 weeks!! Cross your fingers for us everyone!!

Friday, June 3, 2011

Trying To Conceive Journey


So I was thinking I would post our ttc journey so far. I have PCOS and it is the most frustrating, stupid thing in the world!!! Chaz and I have been ttc for a year now and I am currently taking my 3 round of clomid. The 1st cycle on clomid I did ovulate but it was so late in my cycle that it didn't work. The 2nd cycle on clomid was in May, I waited and waited then I thought I was getting ready to ovulate, my opk was getting darker but unfortunately no ovulation and period was like 2 days just spotting in May so I of course start to think oh my gosh implantation bleeding ha ya right took a pg test and it was negative. I wouldn't even call what I had a period for me at least mine are never ever that short or light. I couldn't start round 3 of clomid until AF starts so I call in my provera to induce my period and I am now currently on CD3 @ 100mg of clomid so far no symptoms yet but we will see. I am really really trying to be positive this cycle. I am going to go to the doctors on June 27th to see what is up if I am not pregnant this cycle.

Can I just say that I want to be a mommy more then anything in this world!! I am really trying to keep myself stress free and not to obsessed with this frustrating thing! I have my good days and bad days! I know so many women who are pregnant right now and I just want to be experiencing the pg journey with them!! I know our time will come (I HOPE) I am just super impartation well it has been a year. I will keep posting about our journey but I am hopping I will be posting a I'm pregnant soon!!