God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

I just want to say so sorry for the downer posts! I have been negative, negative lately so i'm sorry. I never in my wildest dreams would have thought that trying to get pregnant would take this long or would be this hard on me emotionally! At times I feel so sad and mad because I want to be pregnant so bad. I have to say that it is a daly strugle for me to not think about it or not worry about wether or not something else is wrong and it's just not healthy. Everyone says tells me not to stress and it will happen. So I am going to the doctors on the 27th of June and I hope he will give me so kind of hope in this. We are going to do one more round of clomid and if we don't get pregnant then I have decided we are going to take some time off of the medications. I hate that this is the one thing in my life that I can't control or fix and maybe taking some time off will make a difference who knows. I had my patriarchal blessing done a few months ago and it talks about mine and Chaz's children so I read that once a week and it honestly is the only thing that gives me hope right now! I need to focus on all the amazing things that I have in my life right now and I need to get to the point where I except the chance that we might never be blessed with a baby, God might have some other purpose for Chaz and I. Everything happens for a reason and there is a reason this is happening, I would just love to know what it is. I am really working hard to change my attitude and to not give this thing anymore energy then I already have. I am going to keep my mind occupied so I won't think about all this ttc stuff!! Everything will work out the way it is supposed to in the end. I am so thankful that I have my faith during this time because I would be lost right now without my heavily father! God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

I also want to say that I love my husband and dogs so much! I am so happy, we have the most amazing life and marriage! Whatever the future hold for us, good or bad I am so happy that I get to experiance and share it with him.There is no one else i'd rather grow old with or experience life with then him.